Note Passer: Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The next morning when I woke up I saw that it had snowed all night. The fresh snow sparkled so bright enough to blind you that when I pulled my curtains open it almost did. When I walked downstairs, I saw that someone was awake and had turned on our tree lights, made breakfast. 

“Hey Jaki,” I heard mom say from the kitchen. 

“Hi,” I say, yawning, and walking into the kitchen where I see mom drinking coffee and reading something on her phone. 

“Some girl came by about two minutes ago saying that you knew her. I didn’t recognize her, so I told her to head home, and I would tell you that she had came by.” Mom says like it is nothing to her but I know she hates it when my friends come over in the mornings. 

“Ohh yeah that’s probably May,” I say, starting to blush. I mean she is the only friend that my mom doesn’t know. 

“Okay,” Mom says slowly, seeing me blushing like she knows that May isn’t who I say she is. Mom is really good at noticing these things, like she guessed that I was non-binary before I even told her. Also, she is pan herself, so she does understand some of it but not all the non-binary stuff. 

“What?” I ask. I know what but if I don’t ask then she might really get ideas. 

“Nothing just you’re just very flushed for just a friend,” Mom says the last words like she knows. 

I turn to face her and say, “I’m going back up to my room.” That conversation made my brain start to whirl with thoughts like Well you have only ever liked girls? But what about that one guy? What was his name? No, I didn’t like him. “This is too complicated,” I whisper, my hand covering my face as I go upstairs. Then in a flash I open my eyes and remember that May had been here that morning and she had left four minutes ago. I pull my phone out to see a message from one minute ago that said meet me at the park. (soon please).  I dart to my room and send a quick yes back. 

When I arrive at the park, I see May sitting on the bench under a tree wearing a green puffy jacket. I sit down next to her. Her eyes are pink-ish like she’s been crying. 

“You okay, May?” I ask, the worry seeping into my voice. 

“No, not really. But I am glad to see you,” May says, getting happier at the end with a little giggle. I giggle back. May tucks her head in the crook of my neck and asks, “How are you?” 

I need to think about that for a moment. All the fun things that week were great but also all the worries I had about sexuality made it a little hard. After a few seconds I say, “I think so.” May looks up at me worried in her eyes I shake my head telling her not to worry. 

“Jaki, what’s up?” May asks fidgeting with my short blond hair. It feels kind of weird to see someone playing with my hair but at the same time it is cute of May.

“Ohh,” I say sighing. “Just worried about sexuality.”  

“Jaki,” May says, lifting her head up ever so slightly. 

“Nothing to worry about. I just don’t know what I am, or right now, who I am.” I place my head down on May’s head. Her hair smells like lavender, and it is very calming. May is taking in what I just said after a second she sits up straight and grabs my hand, pulling me up. I am surprised by this and it shows on my face. 

“Well come on. Talk to me.”

I laugh, get up, kiss her on the check and start to talk to her about all the many things on my mind.