Editor’s Note: In honor of Valentine’s Day on Saturday, our staff writers are focusing on love this week!
Relationships: A Guide
Hello! My name is the Help Desk. My job is to offer support and advice for everyone.
This week, with Valentine’s Day coming up, we’re going to talk about relationship advice- both in your friendships and romantic relationships.
In A Relationship, NEVER Settle For These Things:
- Violated boundaries
- Unsafe situations
- Abuse (verbal or physical)
- Controlling people
In A Relationship, NEVER Do These Things:
- Be openly rude
- Be abusive
- Make the other person feel unsafe, afraid, or uncomfortable
- Violate relationships
- Control someone
Instead, Try These Things:
- Be a safe person to talk to
- Don’t be unkind in disagreements
- Make the other person feel appreciated
- Respect boundaries, and
- Set reasonable boundaries
- Be caring, open, and patient
- Be willing to be vulnerable!
- Offer comfort when needed
*IF YOU EVER FEEL UNSAFE IN ANY RELATIONSHIP, SAFE2TELL IT, AND/OR TALK TO A TRUSTED ADULT*
Common Situations and Pointers
Of course, you can never really plan for a situation, but these are some responses that work, and situations you might encounter.
1.Your bestie seems sad and won’t talk to you.
Response: Offer silent support. Your bestie doesn’t have to tell you what’s going on, but you can still support them! Be kind and patient. Maybe say, “I’m here,” or “How can I support you?”
2.Your friend just got a date, and you’re happy for them, but you feel like they’re spending less time with you.
Response: You’re not unreasonable for wanting to spend time with your friend, even if they’re in a romantic relationship. Voice your concerns to your friend privately. Don’t sound jealous or angry! Say stuff like, “I feel like we’re spending less time together,” or “I feel left out sometimes when you spend time with [date’s name] instead of me.”
3.Your friend has just told you that you’re spending more time with your date instead of them.
Response: That is feedback, not a personal attack on you. Stay calm. Alternate who you hang out with. Set boundaries. You need to be able to balance your own life, juggle your date, and love yourself! If you’re not doing all of those (hate to say it), you’re doing it wrong.
To your friend: “I understand, and I am trying to respond. Please be patient.”
To your date: “I would like to spend more time with [friend]. I’m trying to balance, and I will hang out with you every other day.”
IF YOUR DATE PUSHES BACK, THAT’S A RED FLAG.
Wrap-up:
Thanks for reading! If you want The Help Desk to help you with your problems, email your problem to Miss Young at [email protected] or drop an anonymous note in the official The Help Desk box outside of Miss Young’s room in B7. I will answer your questions completely anonymously.
I hope this article was helpful and instructive!