Chapter 3
Day 5
Me: Good morning
Denner: i was asleep now awak bc u not good mornin
Me: I can’t tell if ur joking/lying
Denner: JK been up 4 like an hour
Me: I knew it!
Denner: no u didn’t.
I smiled at my phone. I sensed all was right in the universe.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soooo, I was super wrong.
Today was the next meeting for Denner’s little D&D gang.
I walked to the nearest game shop with Denner. Well, really, he was dragging me along.
The shop, Game Madness, was more epic than Denner’s living room.
Boxes of dice, books, stacks of cards, stickers, and brightly colored game boxes covered the walls. I paused in the doorway.
All I could say was,” Wow.”
Denner grinned. “Being a game nerd has its benefits.”
I couldn’t help but stare at the bucket of pins near the register. Pride pins.
Denner caught me looking, but only said, “C’mon, let’s get you some D&D dice.” He grabbed my wrist and pulled me toward the dice.
Denner had walked me through using the dice already. I knew it all.
“Pick out a box. Any dice you want.” Denner had a slight smile on his face.
I surveyed the wall of dice. There was a box with clear gold glitter dice, another with pastel yellows, greens, and pinks…. There. The dice set was covered in little silver stars. I carefully reached out, and took the little plastic box from the shelf. I turned to Denner.
“Behold!”
He eyed the dice critically. “Good pick. Now, your class as a Bard means you need a couple extra dice. Another D20, and a couple D8s.”
There was a bin of loose dice. We headed over. I gestured at the dice.
“You wanna do the honors of picking out my last few?”
Denner tilted his head. His face was all edges. Then it softened, like a candle.
“Why not.” He sidled up next to me. I gulped. If I stretched my fingers, our hands would touch. He was so close.
He bent over the dice. “Lessee…”
He reached for a neon green D20. Then for a speckled dice, with gay pride flags inside the clear plastic. Finally, he picked up a pastel pink dice. He presented the selection to me.
My heart was pounding. A gay pride dice. I couldn’t take that home.
I forced a smile, struggling to keep it looking genuine. “Thanks, Denner.”
“I want you to know something. “ He turned me to face him. “I don’t know what happened with what’s-her-face, but you gotta remember that you don’t have to carry that burden all on your own.”
I was blushing. I was positive of it. His hand was right there, on my arm. His lips were close enough to brush.
Come on, Jaimie, kiss him.
The moment passed. That’s the blessing and curse of moments. They never last forever.
Denner stepped back, his face slightly pink. It was like he knew that a minute ago, I was plotting the best way to kiss him.
“Omigosh, I’m sorry, I didn’t ask if you were okay with a gay dice…” Denner reached to take the little D20 from my hand. Okay, maybe that blush wasn’t because he likes me.
Goddangit!
“N-No, I like it!” I stuttered. Maybe I hadn’t before, but I totally did now.
“You sure?…”
“Yeah!”
No, I most certainly was not sure. But I stopped caring.
We headed over to the register.
I reached a hand into my pocket for cash as the clerk rang up my dice. Denner shouldered me out of the way.
“I gotcha,” he said over my stammering protests.
After we made it back to his house, we settled into the den. Jenn, Carl, Moritz, and Pilze weren’t there yet.
His mother had insisted we take a teetering pile of cookies. She’d winked at me. I’d felt my face flame. Did she, somehow, know?
Much, much, much more important than the cookies between Denner and I was my hammering pulse.
And why on Earth did this feel like a date, almost?
It sounded like the start of a gay fairy tale. I smiled to myself. I could see it now.
Once upon a time…
“Hey,” Denner said, interrupting my thoughts.
“What?” I said, reaching for a cookie.
“I figured you should know…”
“Yes?” My heart skipped a beat. My brain was entirely mush.
“Jenn, Moritz, Ayn, and Carl volunteered to set their characters waaaay down to match you.”
Phooey. “That’s awfully nice of them.”
“And they might…be a little touchy.”
What?! “What?!”
Denner shifted uncomfortably on the couch.
“I…kinda told them about…”
He didn’t have to say anything else. I bit my lip, hurt. Though that was unreasonable, he was allowed to tell people. But I thought it was our business.
We sat in awkward silence, punctuated occasionally by the sound of chewing.
After twenty minutes of this, Denner opened his mouth to say something.
“Don’t.” I said. I didn’t mean for it to sound so…angry. Why was I angry, again? I didn’t know. It was like my gut was hollow. It hurt to breathe.
I rolled my gay dice between my fingers. How could I hide this from my parents? I was so focused on my own worries that I didn’t notice Denner scoot over, until our knees were a hair’s breath apart. An arm cautiously snaked its way around my shoulders. My face flushed pink and I felt my spine stiffen.
Denner tried to take his arm back, having also felt me stiffen. I reached up and took his hand, keeping it on my shoulder blade. My heart was racing.
OMG. I. Was. Holding. A. Guy’s. HAND!!!!!!!!!!
And I noticed Denner wasn’t pulling away…..
A knock at the door made Denner slide away. I gulped. That was….probably the rest of the group.
Moritz and Pilze were first. Pilze aggressively licked my face. Moritz nodded in greeting and spoke quietly to Denner. His accent was thick.
Carl was next. He gave Denner a toothy grin, and asked me if he could have one of the cookies. I obliged him.
Jenn and Ayn were the last. Jenn was carrying Ayn on her back. Both of them glared at me and got their character sheets out wordlessly.
Ookay, Denner was underestimating the reactions.
Denner spread his arms extravagantly and said something in a language I couldn’t understand. Moritz nodded, so I assumed it was German. To my right, Ayn relaxed. Oh, good, they all spoke a different language. Grrr.
“Now, thanks again to y’all for resetting your characters. Let’s get this party started!”
The others cheered.
“Because Jaimie doesn’t know how one starts a campaign, I’m going to explain it again.” Mixed chuckles and exaggerated groans met Denner’s words.
“We are all going to roll a D20. Whoever gets the highest roll gets to be the main character for now. The next highest roll is who the main character meets first. Get rollin’!”
Five dice hit the table, spinning like dreidels. I got a 10. Boo.
Ayn cheered. “Beat that!”
I checked her dice. A 20! How?!
“Ah, see, I tink I ‘ave du beat!” Moritz said with a smirk. “A 20.”
Ayn pouted.
Jenn sighed. “I got a 12!”
Carl, with his maniac grin, said,” I…drum roll, please…got a 1.”
Everyone roared with laughter.
“You get a 1 every time we start a campaign!” laughed Jenn.
“I swear you don’t even roll the dang dice!” Ayn snickered.
The compromise between Ayn and Moritz was that they traveled together, then met Jenn, me, and finally Carl.
Ayn was still all sulky about not being the only main. I smiled.
“Meister DM, my character’s name is Heidi,” Ayn told Denner.
“And I am Khashi!” Moritz said.
“Alrighty then! Heidi and Khashi are passing through a little mountain town-a town so small not even the locals know its name. You’ve just checked in with the tiny guild and restocked on gear. What’s next?”
“Is there a club?” Ayn seemed unusually excited at the prospect.
Denner chuckled. “You know the answer.”
“I charge down the street to the club!” Ayn said. But she wasn’t Ayn anymore. I could see it happen. She became Heidi.
“I’m following Heidi,” Moritz-as-Khashi said.
“The club is run-down. It might have been lovely once. The door creaks as you open it. You stop in the doorway, watching two men rush a tiefling. Usually tieflings are skinny, but this one’s built like a tank. She easily snatches one by the wrist and throws him against his friend.”
“Got anything else?” Jenn said, and I know she’s speaking as her character.
“I go over to buy her a mug of cocoa.” Ayn said.
“Okay, Ayn, Heidi strolls over, and offers to buy…Jenn, what’s your character’s name again?”
Jenn said, “Korrina. You always forget, Denner, and I swear it’s on purpose!”
Denner grinned. “I don’t forget, I just have to check.”
Jenn sighed.
The rest of the campaign flew by, and the group warmed back up to me. By the end, I was confident that they liked me.
To the point where they roasted me about my bard. The collective verdict was that my character was ‘lame.’ There was no real malice.
I liked them, though Denner, deny it as I might, was my favorite.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three hours later, Jenn, Ayn, Moritz, and Carl left.
I was packing up my various papers so I could go home. I knew there was a lecture on my horizon, so I took my time.
Denner sat in his cushy recliner with his eyes closed. I had to make a conscious effort to not stare. He looked oddly young.
I focused on the task, my back to Denner, until a voice spoke.
“You held my hand.”
I froze.
“Why?”
I turned slowly. Denner’s eyes were still shut. Thank god. That means he can’t see my blush. Indeed, I was blushing profusely.
I couldn’t think of an answer to Denner’s question that wouldn’t expose me. I could say, Because I wanted you to stay, but then he could ask, Why?
Because I’m super into you wouldn’t do either.
“Because I didn’t want to make the same mistake twice,” I finally said.
“What if I told you that I’ve never met a guy who’s willing to hold my hand?”
I’d say that’s stupid, because your hands are warm and smooth. “I’d say that’s a real shame.”
“What if I told you that I think I know something about you that you don’t know?” Denner opened his eyes, the lamplight dancing in his irises.
What the literal ****?! “And what, pray tell, might that be?”
Denner sat forward, and looked me in the eye. “You, Jaimie, are a very gay human.”
I did a double take. Denner’s eyebrows crunched together.
“Oh my gosh, if I’m wrong, I’m being rude, so sorry…”
I put up a hand, cutting him off. My head whirled. How?!
Should I break my only rule and lie, or should I be honest about myself? I wondered.
“You’re fine, Denner. I’m not entirely sure what my sexuality is, but I think that guys are included.”
Denner breathed a sigh of relief. I saw an eyebrow raise for a split second. Crap, he noticed I was using my educated voice.
No more words were spoken between us as I finished putting things away and got up to go.
“See you tomorrow,” I heard Denner murmur.
I didn’t realize until I was halfway home that I was clutching the gay pride dice in my fist.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
