No Pressure: Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Day 4

Another day, another lunch period spent methodically squishing my potatoes. Of course, Dennner once again slid into the seat next to me. This time, there was no question. If I believed in anything spiritual, I’d say I could feel his good aura. But as is, I’ll say it felt like I was sitting on a lazy afternoon with the sun warming my back. Only one of those was true. It was a lazy afternoon. Ugh, and I was starting to sound like those awful, sappy romance characters in those books my former friend Delaine used to read. She moved and promptly cut off all contact with me. So that was the end of that. My shoulders slumped slightly. Thinking about Delaine always made me sad, bringing back the feelings of that awful day…..

“I’m moving,” Delaine announced, her smile wide and bright. I couldn’t help but be confused. Why was she so delighted?

“Where to?” I said, managing to get the words around the lump in my throat. 

“Brooklyn.” I didn’t think her smile could get any happier, but it did. 

I knew what I wanted to say, knew it was petty, but said it anyway.

“Why are you so happy?” I didn’t add, To leave everything behind? 

Her smile faded. She spoke in a voice one might use to speak to a small child, not a 13 year old boy. 

“Jaimie,” she said, and that’s when I knew something was very wrong. Delaine never used my name. She always called me ‘Jai.’ 

“You’re a really sweet person…but you’re low on the social ladder. Not just that, but you can’t even see it, you’re so far down.”

I blinked away sudden, fiery, wet tears threatening to run down my face. I wanted not sadness to flow from my face, but fury. 

I wanted to scream, “So you’d throw our friendship away so you could be one of those ugly girls in tiny shorts, squealing about the football players?” I bit my tongue until I tasted blood, coppery in my mouth. I forced a wooden smile to my lips, fighting the emotions swirling in my stomach. I wanted to throw up all over Delaine’s Converse. 

I couldn’t say anything. But I couldn’t walk away, either. I was rooted to the spot. The silence quickly became awkward. Delaine said the obligatory goodbyes and hurried off. As soon as she was out of sight, my knees buckled. I was kneeling in the dirt. I couldn’t stop the tears now. They ran down my face like Olympic racers. Breaths heaved in my chest. My shoulders shook. My mouth opened, a wide, gaping hole. 

I screamed.

Denner’s voice pulled me back to the present, “Hey, Jaimie, you okay? You’re shaking.” 

A hand touched my shoulder. Last night, I might have relished Denner’s touch, but today was a new day. Today, I stiffened, memories of Delaine whirling in my skull. 

Denner’s hand immediately retracted. As if I were radioactive. As if I had the Cheese Touch. 

The small, innocent part of me wanted to reach for Denner, put his hand back on my shoulder, and hold it there. I wanted to cry and feel his arms fold around me. The rest of me was too caught up in Delaine and her horrible betrayal to really care about the very cute boy next to me. 

Denner had taken a step back. I could sense it. We sat in awkward, emotionally charged silence. I watched him out of the corner of my eye. His shoulders were tense, rigid. At attention. His jaw was tight, tight. His eyes never left his lunchbox. He ate like a robot. 

I remembered wanting to puke on Delaine’s shiny new Converse. It made me even sicker to realize that I was the one who’d done this.

I’d hurt Denner.

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I couldn’t care less about the hour’s worth of homework in my backpack. As soon as I got home, I sprinted up the stairs, praying my parents weren’t home. 

I sat heavily on my bed, out of breath. I pulled out my phone. 

Me: Denner?

Me: Are you OK?

Me: [CENSORED], that’s a dumb question

Denner: Yes, yes it is

Me: I..don’t want to make excuses

Denner: Then don’t

Me: Gee, no pressure. 

Denner:  i was just trying 2 help

Me: I was reliving a bad memory not ur fault

Denner: u were shaking. i get that u might not wanna talk. we barely have any memories between us, so i conclude that it had nothing 2 do w/me. 

Me: Not u, my ex-bestie Delaine

Denner: ex as in 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👨or as in 🫂

Me: NO! Delaine was never my…girlfriend 😖

Denner: kinda had 2 check

Me: No u didn’t. But r we good now?

Denner: 🧐

Me:!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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