I sat on the couch feeling lifeless as I looked out the window. The window was covered in condensation, and raindrops were building up on the bottom. I didn’t go to school because of the severe rain, and I had been inside for all of that time staring out the window and watching cartoons. I had just recently moved there, so I was glad to not be sitting in a bland classroom with no one I knew. Tears filled my eyes as I thought about all of the friends I left behind, 12 hours away, probably crying in their rooms and pigging out on junk food. The TV flashed colorful pictures of my favorite characters, but none of the images reached my mind as I was stuck in mental prison. Then I pictured what a prison cell would look like. Dark and dusty, no light except for a small, flickering lamp in the middle of the damp ceiling. Jail bars separating you from everything you know and love. Yes, thats where I was right now. A mental prison cell.
As I snapped back to reality, I slowly put my feet on the floor and started robotically walking to my room. My body had a mind of its own as I pushed the door open and stared at the walls covered with pictures of my friends. I gently ripped one off of the wall and gazed at it with my crystal blue eyes. In the picture, it showed my friends and I at an amusement park, about to go on the scariest ride. Daisy was standing in the middle of the three of us, holding my polaroid and taking the picture. Anna was next to me wearing her favorite pink t-shirt, which was inside out. I giggled, remembering her reaction when we told her. Her eyebrows shot up and we all started laughing like crazy, even if it wasn’t a big deal. Then there was me. My braces had my favorite colors, purple and white, and my glasses were resting on my forehead. I looked so happy. I tilted the picture towards the light, and my face reflected on the plastic of the picture. My face was red with tears, and I looked terrified. And I compared it with me in that picture. In there I was so brave and joyful. But now, I’m a hopeless wreck.
Then, I realized I don’t have to be. I ripped all of the pictures off of the wall, pictures of me smiling, screaming with joy, laughing, then walked outside into the pouring rain thinking about when Lilac moved away. She had been devastated at first, along with me, but she made new friends and memories in just a month. Standing outside, I held all of the pictures close to my heart as the rain raced down my cheeks, and I knew I was ready for change as I smiled into the sky, into the great unknown.
